A Gift

From time to time I came across questions from my fellow Chinese, particularly immigrants, friends about how to overcome discrimination in the U.S.  In the U.S. this is a particularly sensitive topic.  There is no doubt that being an immigrant there are many disadvantages.  However, I'd like to offer a different perspective.

I'm the 2nd born daughter in my family.  I grew up with a complex that I was not treated fairly because my natural born status was of no significance in a traditional Chinese society.  Complaining to my parents with teary eyes, pitched lips, and nasal tone about unfairness was not an uncommon scene, particularly during holiday seasons when guests were showering my elder sister or younger brother with gifts, forgetting about me.

My dad one day sat me down and told me a story.  The story was about a young boy.  He was the least significant among all children in his family.  However, in spite of his insignificance, he proudly told everyone that he was his parents' FAVORITE child, even though it was far from the reality.  Oddly, the more he said it, the more people believed it.  Eventually he DID become his parent's favorite child.  That story was a gift from my dad as an entrée to positive thinking and self-fulling prophecy, in a good way.

I'd like to give the gift to my fellow Chinese friends too.  Instead of focusing on "overcoming" discrimination which automatically gives it the power of existence, let's be color blind, gender blind, and age blind, and see the true merit of and the spirit within each individual we come across.  It never fails me to find that, regardless of color, gender, or age, we are all so very much the same.  My closest friends are from very different color, gender, and age backgrounds as well as all walks of lives.  When I open my heart, they do the same to me too.  I do not let the "D" word exist in my life, and therefore no need  to "overcome" it.